Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Day 26

Today my husband and I celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary. I'd already decided days ago that I was going to enjoy myself and have something that I shouldn't have... meaning a high calorie dinner and dessert. This was the first time since my journey began that I gave myself permission to do this. I had planned to only go overboard for just the one meal, NOT the entire day. I would love to tell everyone that I did well after that one meal, but that wouldn't be honest.

My husband and I both had the day off. We had lunch at Fuddruckers because I've been watching my husband eat burgers with the bun and cheese and a side of fries for a little while now. So the first thing I thought of was having a cheeseburger and fries. We went to the movies afterwards and I got candy and things pretty much went downhill from there.

Before my journey, if I would have McDonalds for breakfast, then I would immediately develop that, 'oh well, I already screwed up' attitude and would overeat the rest of the day...or days afterwards. I've actually had binges that lasted for several months at a time and I didn't know when I'd ever get back on track. My eating was so out of control it seemed like my mouth was constantly in motion. It scared me, yet while I was indulging, it also made me happy. It was like I had this rather strange and complicated relationship with food and I just didn't know how to break free.

After 25 days of doing so well, today it happened again when I had that first bite at Fuddruckers... that's all it took. I don't want to continue down that old path... not again. This is exactly why I have to be strict, because I know me and allowing myself to partake of certain foods is releasing the monster that feeds off of my addiction. Until I have better control, I have to treat some foods like a drug that I need to stay away from. Tomorrow, I won't check my glucose, because I can't imagine what I might see on my meter and I'm certainly not going to weigh myself.

Inspiration picture: Mandisa


  1. hang tough. I agree don't weigh. Maybe checking your blood sugar wouldn't be a bad thing just to see what happened. Just keep moving forward...

  2. First of all, Happy Anniversary! I spent years on binging every day so I understand. So this was one day and you will be back on track tomorrow. I don't know if you are on meds for your diabetes but agree with PJ that it might be a good idea to check. The scale can forget it until later though. You will be fine!

  3. Looking on the bright side of your meal choices, our bodies sometimes need to be shocked. By that I mean, if you are used to eating 1200 calories a day (just an example, not saying this is what you eat)every so often you need to eat over 1200 (maybe 1400, etc.).

    When I started this journey, I thought that I had to stick to my calorie allotment and couldn't go over. It wasn't until I started to hit a plateau that I started to look into ways to get over it and the first thing I found was shocking your system. Surprisingly it actually worked for me and if I was used to gaining a few ounces to a pound or so, I finally lost them.

    I agree with everyone that you may not want to weigh yourself, mainly because the scale has a mind of its own. You may have gained 3 pounds in a day but as the week goes on, your weight will balance itself out. Just like I agree with not weighing yourself, I do think that you should check your blood sugar just to be on the safe side.